Let’s try a different approach

Hey everyone, it’s been a while.

I’ve missed you and I want to believe that you missed me too! I am back with a little something I want to try… I’m going to take a new approach about this blog. It’s going to get a lot more personal and I’m going to try to post a lot more. Why? Because I’ve been struggling so hard to write the perfect post that I hardly post anything at all. I have to stop chasing perfection and start practicing. Because maybe if I post more often I will reach new readers and I will be better at this.

Also I decided that I’m not going to share any posts from other blogs on any of my social media. If you are following me is because you care about my content, not about things that I might share in order to have my posts shared. This blog and what’s in it is mine, this is my baby and I need to start treating it like one.

I’m still trying to figure it out but bear with me. I’ve always wanted to be a blogger and I’m not going down without a fight!

What do you think about this? Are you ok with it? I would love to read what you think so please leave a comment in the comment section below!

See you next time… bye!

Our obligations are killing our hobbies.

Why is it that when you do something for fun it’s not as important as something that you actually have to do? I mean, the reason why I haven’t been uploading anything lately is because a new college year started and I always have to do something college related first in order to “feel productive”. And I think my problem is that I don’t think that something related to my well-being is as important as an obligation. Why do I have to do everything that I “have to do” first, in order to be happy and be able to do what I actually want to do?

Why do we procrastinate ourselves so much?

I know this might sound weird, or crazy, but I have this theory that when we procrastinate we don’t do that thing we actually want to do, we “lose track of time on social network” or we “end up organizing something” but it’s not that thing we wanted to do in the first place because in order to have our ‘treat’ we need to go through something bad, in this case: an obligation. And because of that we even end up procrastinating something we actually enjoy doing!

For example, if I have to do my homework and I want to write on my blog, I need to do my homework first in order to be able to enjoy writing on my blog. So every time I end up procrastinating doing my homework, it’s because I lost track of time gathering my strength to do it while scrolling down on my social network. It’s like I’m cheating my obligations with something I don’t actually want to do so it doesn’t feel like cheating because I am not enjoying it as much as I should.

But obligations aside, I think we feel like we owe society more than we owe ourselves. Sometimes we need to put ourselves first, we need to let society down once (and not care about it) in order to do whatever we want to and to be able to enjoy it. If we forget  we need to be happy we will end up doing a bunch of stuff we don’t want to do and we’ll think our whole purpose in life is to do what society tells us to do. That is so messed up it needs to stop.

So here I am, I decided to leave my class today and came home earlier because I was feeling a little blue and I wanted to write a little bit so I chose to put myself first. And I am actually happy that I did it, even though it was a tough call. It’s never easy, at least for me, to walk away from an obligation. I tend to push myself to the limit in order to feel like I’m capable of doing anything even if it means to push myself to a “ let’s have a mental breakdown” limit. And that… well, it’s not healthy at all.

Let’s try to put ourselves first and see how it goes! Let’s give it a try! I promise that I would try it and if I succeed, you will be seeing more posts from me from now on. And please, let me know in the comment section below: is it hard for you to put yourself first? What is that number one obligation you feel like you have to do first?  I would love to read your comments!

See you next time (I hope it’s anytime soon!)… bye!

Taking everything for granted: the reason why things have to end.

I know, I know, I’ve been so M.I.A. that it’s not even funny. I’ve been so busy guys. I went on vacation (If you are following me on Twitter you already knew that) and it was awesome but it also left me no time to write. And the week before that I was really busy with all the planning and buying all the things I needed because guess what: I was so focused on my blog that I completely forgot about my trip and I remembered a week before leaving.

But let’s focus on what’s important: today’s blogpost. Today I’m going to talk about endings and how hard it is to say goodbye to some things in life.

Lately I feel like a lots of things in my life are coming to an end. My neighbors moved out of their house and they moved to another province, my favorite TV show (The Vampire Diaries – I know, don’t judge me) finished last Friday and my favorite TV show of all time (Bones) it´s coming to an end too. I also feel like a lot of things in my life are about to change and even though I am not able to not panic, I’m a little excited for what’s to come.

I feel like things has to come to an end so new things can begin to happen. There has to be a balance, we need closure so we can appreciate what happened and we can accept the new things in life.  Sometimes closure involves crying and feeling sad, it’s not easy, I’m not saying that. It’s just that I feel that it has to happen at some point. If something is forever, that means it’s never going to end and we might take it for granted instead of appreciating. Why do I have to try to enjoy it right now if it’s going to be there forever, right?

Instead of that, since life is a constant surprise, we don’t know what’s going to happen next. Sometimes we end up saying goodbye to someone that was supposed to be around for a lot longer and we never saw it coming. We get mad because we weren’t ready and we regret not saying certain things or spending more time with that person. And even though it’s painful I feel like we tend to appreciate things and people even more after those things happen. We acknowledge that sometimes those things are a matter of luck and not knowing when they are coming to an end helps us to make the most out of it. Isn’t that the whole point of “You only live once”? The premise that life has an expiration  date is the very thing that encourages us to do things we might not consider doing ever? To do something now because you may not be able to do it later? It wasn’t until my neighbors told me they were thinking about moving away that I started to try to see them as much as I could. Before that, college was always first or I always had to do something first: I was taking them for granted. It wasn’t until I knew that them being my neighbors had an expiration date that I started to see them more often.

I feel like any important ending in your life marks the end of an era and the beginning of a new one. I’m really sad for the things that lately ended because they meant so much for me and they began to happen when I was in a really dark place and they really helped me, but I’m also excited and a little terrified of all the things that are to come. In this new phase of my life I’m sure a lot of things are going to change, but I’m open to it.

Well, this is me rambling about endings.  It just that lately I was overwhelmed about things coming to an end and I felt the need to write something about it. I hope it makes sense. I also hope that this inspires you to not take things or people for granted, to appreciate them for as long as you can without knowing a goodbye is going to happen soon. I hope it helps you to enjoy the things in life because you can, because you are alive. Just because. I think it sounds silly but even writing this made me rethink a lot of things and I really, really, really hope it made you rethink too.

So tell me what you think, do you think we need an expiration date to appreciate things? Has this happened to you, that when you knew you were about to lose something/someone you started to appreciate it/them more? Do you feel the same way? Did this post made you rethink something? Let me know in the comment section below! See you next time, bye!

 

 

Betta fish: The myths and the truth – Part 2.

Hello again! Today I’m going to bring you the second part of one of my lasts posts in order to help you understand your betta a little bit more. If you haven’t read Part 1 you should go and do that first! Like I said before, there are a few things I came across while doing the proper research before getting a betta that left me in awe. Those things were a few myths that people truly believed in and most of these were life threatening for Betta fish!

Bettas can live in a vase, it recreates the natural environment of your Betta – FALSE!
The idea that this beautiful animal can live in a secluded space like a vase is unbelievable: there is barely any oxygen for them, the water temperature will vary greatly stressing your betta, there is no way the roots of your plant can filter the ammonia in the water and betta fish are carnivorous so they can’t survive by only eating the plants roots. So next time you hear this, tell that person that it’s a myth and a betta under those conditions will be extremely unhappy -and die rather quickly-.

Bettas are great Goldfish’s companions – FALSE!
This is a myth because goldfish are cold water fish while bettas are tropical fish! These myth came from the same myth bettas have to endure: the idea that goldfish can survive in a jar. So if both can survive in a jar why not put them together, right? NO! N-O-! Putting any animal in a jar is cruel and you can’t put these two together because they do not live in the same conditions! So this is a huge NO NO.

Female bettas need other female bettas to keep them company – FALSE!
This is a common problem with fish, we tend to see them as humans so we tend to think they have the same needs we have. We see them “sad and lonely” and we tend to think they “need a buddy” but that sometimes is not true, specially with bettas. Bettas are solitary fish and they are ok with that. They can be bored and that’s why you think they are sad and lonely but there are so many ways to entertain them that doesn’t involve other fish. So no, even though you can actually have a sorority tank (I do not recommend it because wounds and death are common in these situations) there is no need for a betta, even if it’s female, to have another female betta.

Bettas don’t feel pain, so it’s ok to make them fight – FALSE!!
I don’t know who came up with it but this myth is just stupid. A lot a people actually believe it! There have been a lot of studies on the anatomy and behavior of fish that show they have nocireceptors (receptors that sense pain) and they react to painful stimuli. So no, it’s no ok to make them fight because it can result in the fish death, stress and illness.

Bettas are stupid fish – FALSE! 
I don’t know why bettas are so misunderstood. They are actually pretty smart fish! If they are not properly stimulated they will be bored and depressed, they need behavioral enrichment. You can even teach them tricks! They recognize certain things and they know when there is someone in front of the tank.

Well, bettas are really interesting fish and I hope that this article can help you understand them better. Let’s bust those myths and try to make everyone see what’s best for them! Let’s raise awareness.

So, what do you think? Which one of these is the one you can’t believe actually exists? Let me know in the comment sections below! I see you next time… bye!

It’s never enough

Whenever we are doing something it feels like we are being judged. Maybe not directly or literally, but the feeling is still there. It feels as if what we are doing isn’t as great as that thing someone did or that our accomplishment wasn’t as great as we thought.

If we are women we never lose enough weight, we never wear enough make up, we don’t look fresh enough, pretty enough, thin enough, tall enough, we don’t laugh enough… And this goes the same way with men. They’re not masculine enough, their muscles aren’t big enough, they are not handsome enough, their voice isn’t deep enough, they don’t make enough money… IT’S. NEVER. ENOUGH.

And why is that? Huh? Why is it that it doesn’t matter what we do, there’s always going to be that Facebook post that will show that your friend got a promotion when the only thing you got is a raise? The funny thing here is that you were happy about it until you found out about your friend. Why can’t we be happy about our accomplishments for more than a few hours?

The awful part is that we keep struggling to make it enough. And maybe we don’t want it to be what others think is ‘enough’, we are happy with the things the way they are, and maybe, just maybe, we should allow ourselves to be happy because of that. But we can’t. We keep trying to make it ‘enough’. We go on crazy diets that we hate, we wear those heels that hate our feet, we accept that awful job because the pay is great. It’s not the job we want, but is the job that maybe will be considered enough.

But the thing is, it will never be enough. And we have to learn that and live with that. We have to learn to be happy because we deserve it. It IS enough, even if we don’t feel it that way. And I’m not talking about giving up and not achieving your goal because you ‘should feel happy with what you have’. I’m not promoting conformism, don’t get me wrong! I’m talking about allowing yourself to feel happy when you achieve your goal. I’m talking about recognizing your triumphs, your ups and your downs. Realize that if you are happy, then it is enough. If you are happy then enjoy the feeling, share it with the whole world and do not wonder what others think of you.

We need to learn that it is enough and that we are enough. Set your goals, think where you want to be and try to get there and enjoy the journey. Enjoy your triumphs, celebrate every time you get closer to where you want to be. Don’t care about what others have to say about your goals, how long you are taking to get there or anything. Listen to yourself and enjoy yourself; I think that’s the key to realize you are enough.

Have you ever thought you weren’t enough? Do you still feel that way? How did you overcome that?  I would love to read your stories: please share them with me in the comment section below!

I hope I see you next time… bye!

Betta fish: The myths and the truth – Part 1. 

Maybe you just finished setting up your freshwater tank and you are thinking on getting a Betta. And as you should, you are doing a little research about Betta fish before getting one and you are reading a lot of things about these particular fish. So today I’m going to talk about Betta splendens: this beautiful creature that we all love and is so neglected in our society. I’m going to enunciate some of the things that are said about these fantastic animals and I’m going to tell you which ones are true and which ones are false.

“Bettas can live in a glass of water” – FALSE!

This is the worst and most frequent lie. The fact that they can survive short-term in a glass of water does not mean they can live life at its fullest in that glass. I guess you would be able to survive living in a closet, but you wouldn’t call that ‘living’, am I right? Well, the same goes for Betta fish. They actually enjoy swimming in their tank.

“They live in muddy and dirty water in the wild, that’s why you don’t have to worry about water changes” – FALSE!

Yes, they live in mud puddles (yes, that’s their natural environment) but that does not exactly translate to “dirty water”. One thing is a crystal clear water and other thing is a fishtank with a 0 ppm ammonia reading. Those are two different types of ‘clean water’. When we do water changes it’s not because the water is ‘dirty’, we do it to remove the nitrates in the water (assuming that we have the proper filtration system). So the fact that they can live in muddy waters does not mean they can live in waters with high ammonia readings.

“Because their natural environment are rice puddles, that means they don’t like to swim” – FALSE

Maybe they don’t need a very deep tank, but they do like to swim for thousands and thousands of miles in the wild. They actually need to swim in order to live a full life. If they don’t swim much they are probably going to die withing two years. That’s why they need at least a 2.5 gallon tank.

“They don’t need anything to survive. Just water” -FALSE!

They need a heater because there are tropical fish and if the water temperature is too low they go into an hibernation state and that’s not good for them. Also they need an air pump. The fact that they can breath oxygen from the air (they have a labyrinth organ that permits them to breathe air) doesn’t mean that they don’t use their gills to breath, so yes they need oxygenated water. They can survive without an air pump but, like I said, that does not mean ‘living life at its fullest’.and they are going to die within a couple of years. And last but no least, they need a filtration system. These are fish that can tolerate a little bit of ammonia in their water for a little time and they are not going to die because of that because they are hardy.  But they need a a filtration system in order to maintain the proper conditions for them to live life at their fullest.

“These are very aggressive fish” -TRUE

These are not friendly fish. They don’t do well in community tanks. Of course there could be some exceptions, but that is not the rule. Males can’t be in the same tank as others betta males, they are literally going to fight until one of them ends up dead. On the other hand, female bettas can be friendlier towards other female bettas, and maybe (if you are lucky) you can have a sorority tank -which is a tank full of female bettas- but it’s a risky thing because they might end up killing each other or hurting themselves pretty bad. Also I would not recommend having a male and a female betta in the same tank. It’s really risky. If you have a community tank you have to do your research because it’s a species that doesn’t get along with a a lot of species, specially with those that like to bite fins or those with huge fins that resemble other bettas.

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This is Pinky: my female betta. I love her very much.

There are a thousand myths about these fish so I’m going to write several articles  regarding this issue. I’ll write ‘Part 2’ soon!
So next time you see betta fish in a store and they are in tiny cups or you hear a seller telling a client that  Betta fish don’t need much to live, and saying things like “they are ok like that”. Say something, speak up! Because those fish are going to die in a year or so without their owners really knowing why. This is not about shaming these owners; is about educating them because most of them don’t know that what they are doing is not ok. They trusted the seller and they bought the fish maybe because they’ve always wanted to have a fish that they were desperate enough to believe a fish can live in those conditions!  So lets go and educate people about this, let’s raise awareness!

What do you think about these amazing little creatures? Have you ever saw one in a tiny cup? Do you have a betta? Do you have any questions about them? Maybe other myths that we can debunk? I would love to answer to all your questions in the comment sections below! I hope I see you next time… bye!

Owning a pet

Have you ever wondered what owning a pet really is? Sometimes I feel that people don’t understand how big of a deal it is.

I feel that owning a pet is such a huge responsibility and it’s a decision that should not be taken lightly. If you think about it, you are taking care of a living thing. And the reason why I feel people don’t actually get it is because I hear comments like ‘Since I’m never in the house I will get a cat, they don’t care if you are there or not’ or ‘I want a fish and I don’t want to spend that much on a fish, so I’m going to get a Betta; I heard they can live in a glass full of water’. Nooooo! Let’s just say this is a huge no no!

Please, if you’re reading this and these thoughts ever occur to you, keep reading.img_20170127_123228327

You can’t get a cat because you can’t have a dog. They are not the same. Yes, cats are independent but it doesn’t  mean they don’t care to be alone. I guess you can be on your own for a few days but eventually you’ll miss the company, right? Well, the same way goes for cats. People think that cats don’t give a f**k about them, but that is not true. They actually enjoy the company! And that’s why you end up having so many lonely and aggressive cats: just because people think “they like to be alone or they don’t care about being alone”. The fact that they can survive for a few days by themselves doesn’t mean they like it!

And why does this misconception happen so often? Because people don’t tend to inform themselves about the pet they are about to get. Having a pet is not just giving them food and cleaning their waste, it’s about caring, spending time with them, loving them, doing what’s good for them and trying not to be selfish. You want a fish but you don’t want to spend a lot money on it? Then don’t have it. Fish are expensive if you want to have them under the proper conditions. Do not buy one because you are selfish and you want to fulfill your whim, think about your pet. The fact that they are animals does not mean they don’t feel or the fact that you’re feeding them does not give you the right to have them under bad conditions. I know someone could get lonely and want a new pet but… I think that having a pet because ‘you feel lonely’ it’s a little bit selfish. You have to be aware of all the things “owning a pet” actually mean: It’s a long term commitment. If you have a pet you can’t be lazy: if you have a dog you have to walk it and you have to train it, if you have a cat you have to play with it and spend time with it, if you have fish you have to clean their tank once a week, feed them… And you can’t expect your pet to behave as a human would, they are animals and you have to be aware of that. They have an instinct that goes beyond your rules. If they don’t like to be petted then don’t get mad at them. They are your friends, not your servants.

And I know what you are thinking “But there are so many stray dogs and cats, isn’t it better if they are at a home, even if they are not properly taken care of?”. Well, this one is a though one. But I actually think that the reason why there are so many stray animals is because people don’t actually get what owning a pet is. If you can’t take care of the pups or the kittens then neuter your pet. And if you can’t neuter them, then assume the responsibility and try to find them a new home where they are going to be properly taken care of. Do not leave them on the street because it’s too much of a responsibility!

Like Taylor N. Dean once said in one of her videos, “No animal is cheap … No matter how cute an animal is […] are you ready for everything that’s gonna come? It could get sick […] It’s not all just fun, there are some serious side effects of owning animals […] The main thing is they don’t live anywhere near as long as you do. […] Although they are just a part of your life, you were their whole lives. The things you do for them is all they got to experience. The world you make for them  is their life. You want to give them the best life you can during that time. You don’t want to deprive them of giving them the best they can have for the time they’re here because you chose to take that animal in, you chose to make it yours so now it’s time to give them the best life you can”

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And with this I hope I raised awareness of how important is to own a pet and to inform yourself before going and getting one. It’s a beautiful thing and I love it, but if you are considering to have one, you have to be aware that it’s a responsibility and a long term commitment.

What do you think about this? Do you have any pets? I would love to know your point of view regarding this issue. And if you feel the same way about this please share this post with your friends and family! Let me know what you think
in the comment section below! I hope I see you next time… bye!

 

 

This is a lifestyle blog where I share things that I think are worth sharing and where I ramble about society and life itself!